The G20 Summit this year has brought a lot of controversy,
but nothing has brought more controversy that the real reason President Trump wanted
to go.
"I skip things all the time, especially when they are a
WASTE of my time. And I say WASTE, with a capital W, even in the sentence I
just stated. I know that it wasn't the first word of the sentence, but you need
to understand that when I say waste, I mean it with a capital W. Even in that
sentence too." Explained President Trump to our very own Doug McCockin
during a break in the action this morning.
The President went to G20 to close one of the biggest real
estate deals this world has ever seen. He sold the White House to none other
than Vladimir Putin. "My cousin Jed on the poor side of my family owns a
better looking trailer than what they got going on at that White House... An
absolute disgrace for all Americans." Trump went on to explain that he
will now be living in New York City during the winter months and his Mar-a-Lago
estate during the summer months. The focus during this summer will be his tan,
while the focus in the winter months will be catching up on TV shows.
When asked about the price tag the White House fetched, the
President stated, "That's classified information, but know this, when I do
things, I do them BIGLY. Capital B, don't make me explain again please. So, I
take a pay cut sure, I said I wouldn't take a salary as President. I tell them,
oh 500 thousand a year, give to starving kids or whatever, but my focus was the
deal. The deal is done, I'm back in New York City soon and I have to tell you,
it's a relief. Flying into DC, absolutely breathtaking and I mean breathtaking
like when you see a human smashed in a car accident, not like when you see a
beautiful woman."
We later reached out to President Putin for comment on the
deal, but we were told that he was not in Germany anymore. When we told his
representatives that we literally just saw him walk through a private bathroom
door 45 seconds ago, they responded with, "Hey, what's that over
there?" After looking at what they were pointing at, they ran away and we
were unable to locate them for further comment.
Jacken Jud, Junior Correspondent
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