Trump Vows Retaliation if Moore Loses



    Republican Roy Moore on multiple occasions denied the accusations of child molestation to the press and public. Yet stories continue to arise. Just to update, there have been five more accusations reported since the morning of December 10th. One account of him claims he molested the family dog on multiple occasions during his weekly visits to Dairy Queen. 

    President Donald Trump was in Florida over the weekend supporting his friend Roy Moore in hopes to help boost his profile right before the voting begins. "I think when I come down to this hell hole and do things bigly, people will vote for this fucking guy. There is absolutely no proof that any of this nonsense happened. After 30 plus years all should be forgiven anyway. Ask my housekeeper." said President Trump when asked about the controversy surrounding the race.

    The President is completely against any Democrat getting this seat in the Senate. Trump stated that he believes that Democrat Doug Jones wants to, "ruin everything by giving handouts to lazy poor people", "give health insurance to people who probably deserve to just die" and "help Elon Musk get to Mars before me."

    When this journalist asked the President about what he would do if it were proven that Roy Moore did these horrible things and the result is that Doug Jones wins, Trump responded, "I know Roy didn't do this okay? What happened to innocent until proven guilty? Look, let me tell you something... If that left-wing, lily liver, basket case Doug Jones wins this thing, I'm going to hire a couple of big queer goons to molest him. Thank you."