On the morning of August 18th 2017, President Donald Trump walked into the Garden Room (brought you by Lowe's) and discovered that a man by the name of Steve Bannon had been living there since January 20th.
"To say the least, I was completely shocked, to say the most, how does a man stay so fat living in a garden room?" Commented Trump after being questioned about his decision to fire the garden dwelling Bannon from his Cabinet position. Initial reports from White House leaker, Steve Bannon, was that Bannon was fired because he was thought to be so smart that he couldn't be contained. "Smarter than that Einstein guy!" quoted the leaker Steve Bannon.
What does this mean for the future of the prominent White House Chief Strategist position? Our very own, Howie Felter caught up with White House groundskeeper Silky Madadore who had a pretty good idea what would become of it. "I think dude will go back to work for that far-right site, or just chill... he's rich anyways, know what I mean?" When ask again about the future of the prominent position of White House Chief Strategist, Silky the groundskeeper coughed up phlegm into a grass stained rag and mumbled, "I gotta stop drinkin'."
"Like I said, I've never seen that man or hired that man!" Trump re-asserted while being further questioned. "Maybe you should go ask CNN what they think. Maybe they'll say he was my Campaign CEO and I created this position for him. To that I would say, the media runs anything these days. Fake news."
